The Roquefort Files

INT. KEITH’S ROOM – NIGHT MART, DOM and KEITH stand among a morass of cables and music kit. A huge bass amplifier dwarfs a tiny practise amp sitting next to it. There are too many chairs in the room. MART counts in on his guitar. They begin to play “All I Want To Do Is [...]

Last night we were having a couple of friends round for tea at the flat, and it was my turn to cook. As the day went on, extra people were added on and it turned out I was cooking for six in total. Fair enough, I thought. Josh suggested that I do a tradition Roquefort [...]

Well, after a fairly non-blogworthy week, a pretty decent weekend. In fact, further to my “Shit! I’ve grown up” epiphany documented here a few weeks ago, I think I’ve probably just worked out what life is going to be like for the next, oh, forty years: weeks = dull, weekends = good. Can’t believe it [...]

The weekend: good and bad. Good: went to see Mogwai at the Barrowlands in Glasgow. They’re a fantastic live band; quite a lot more rewarding in person than on a CD. And they kicked off with my two favourite songs as well. Bonus! We went out for a few drinks afterwards and then watched the [...]

I’ve been roped into a band. Fancy that. Can’t even play anything.

I got some cool presents for my birthday – a chair, a mug, a bottle of kahlua and a rather spiffy bottle opener. Somewhat more chillingly, the day after my birthday, I got a garbled phone message about speed dating when I was wandering about in a haze of illness. I duly dismissed this as [...]

Roquefort Files etymology #1: Main Entry: Ma·fia Pronunciation: ‘mä-fE-&, ‘ma- Function: noun Etymology: Mafia, Maffia, a Sicilian secret criminal society, from Italian dialect (Sicily) Date: 1875 1 a : a secret criminal society of Sicily or Italy b : a similarly conceived criminal organization in the U.S.; also : a similar organization elsewhere c : [...]

Ahoy diddley hoy hoy, readers. After whingeing about feeling ropey last Wednesday, I then basically stayed in bed for two days. Now I use cloth hankies (a grandad-esque habit picked up from both of my grandads) and Thursday saw me use up thirty-three of the bastards. I became home to the EU catarrh mountain. I [...]

What an anticlimax. Today is the Roquefort Files’ birthday. Now usually this would be a minor cause for celebration (survived another year and all that), but today was screwed even before it began. I woke up from (‘regained full consciousness’ would be a better description – I slept so badly that ‘sleep’ seems an overenthusiastic [...]

Hat Night: it seemed like a good idea at the time. Actually, it was. The Mafia and assorted cohorts have done this a couple of times before. The concept is simple: get healthily uninhibited through the drinking game du jour and then go out wearing an assortment of frankly ludicrous hats. This all started after [...]