The Roquefort Files

Pauline (the sister of the ex-Gladiator) was telling us about a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert she’d been to in Australia. She’d only been able to book a ticket in a seated area, and when the band came on, she stood up in a giddy haze of excitement only to become aware of general discontent [...]

I was at home over Christmas. All clich&eacutes were present and correct: eating; drinking; merriment; impromptu Riverdance-esque dance routines with an ex-Gladiators contestant. Usual stuff. On Christmas Eve, I gave my sister a lift home and then we met up with some old friends in the newly-refurbished Caledonian in Leven. The Caley used to be [...]

We had the annual (no shit! Annual? Get away) flat Christmas meal yesterday. We started cooking (and drinking) about 5 pm, which then turned out to be about an hour too late to have anything whatsoever ready for zero hour of 6 pm. (Okay, the turkey had been in the oven since about 3, but [...]

Your correspondent went on a date a couple of weeks ago. (No, not this one. Although that particular date went down like a lead balloon, at least I made a friend out of it!) It went pretty well; we seemed to get on reasonably well. Not like a house on fire, but well enough. Anyway, [...]

to the fear experienced when the slowest-emptying urinal you’ve mistakenly chosen is inexorably filling up and it starts flushing.

of Amsterdam and Vegas courtesy of Josh. Okay, so my bag was maybe a smidgen big for a weekend.

Back to work after a weekend in the ‘Dam1! The Roquefort Files and flatmates took a sly day off2 on Friday and jumped on a sleazyJet flight to Schipol at lunchtime, after a preparatory traditional fry-up. We met up with Cristina, an Italian friend of ours, after we finally found the hostel. An inability to [...]

We had our work’s Christmas do last night. Here’s a brief timeline: 8:00 pm – arrive at Howie’s 8:05 pm – get stuck into the 50 litres of free wine 1:00 pm – wake up with colossal hangover Quite a good night then.

I have just read the funniest thing in the world.

I’ve started using my phone as a sort of diary/to-do list type thing and I found an entry on Sunday morning that says, unhelpfully: “evananecenencd”. Now I imagine this is some kind of reference to the execrable Christian-rock abomination that is Evanescence*, but I have no idea why the hell I’d want to write it [...]