The Roquefort Files

Travels to the pub and back

July 27th, 2005

Painballing:

Dave and I caught the bus out to Dalmahoy after work on Tuesday. This was because Zoë told us, and I quote: Stuart has kindly offered to give me a lift to Dalmahoy and he can take me and one other of us back into town. The bus sailed (well, drove) straight past the ‘Skirmish […]

July 25th, 2005

Two things that made me laugh in the last half hour:

Devon’s account of insectile food hilarity. I’m not laughing at you, Brenna. I’m laughing with you. Honest. From the Observer, erudite writer meets GTA: San Andreas: ‘Go play your piano, bitch!’ I shouted (I wasn’t angry: I had to yell to make myself heard), glancing up just long enough for her to catch the look […]

I’m chopping away,

marvelling that roasting, as I’ve recently discovered, is the best way to cook just about everything. I pick up some random vegetable and stick the (8″, ninja-sharp) knife into it. Except it’s not a vegetable, it’s my finger. Stupid knife. So now this weekend’s TM practice is out because I can’t play without shrieking like […]

July 18th, 2005

Dave’s gran

was shown a picture of Josh and I in the US. “This is San Antonio,” was the explanation. “That’s nice,” she replied, “Which one’s San and which one’s Tonio?” Josh was Tonio. Clearly has some Mexican in him. My weekend appears to be migrating. Possibly it’s still jetlagged. The first weekend after we got back […]

July 11th, 2005

Today has been lightened

by the presence of someone, just out of sight at the community centre across the road, repeatedly shouting what sounds like “timmy! timmy!“

I bought a new toy the other day:

a truly evil 8″ cook’s knife to replace the bendy, butter knife-style abominations masquerading as cookware in the new flat. I was a little over-excited with the whole knife buying thing. “Hello. I’d like to play with some knives, please,” I babbled psychotically to the shop assistant, having spent the previous twenty minutes staring at […]

July 5th, 2005

I predict a riot.

The RF are back at home, but home has moved to a new flat. The view from our kitchen window has the castle and Princes Street gardens to the left, and the Forth glittering off to the right. The view from my bedroom window has a brothel. On Saturday Dave and I met up with […]

July 4th, 2005

The end is nigh.

On Saturday, we drove into the centre of Santa Barbara to watch the summer solstice procession, a Beltane-type affair with the town’s loons and samba dancers watched by the sane inhabitants. We watched, ate a last burrito (tinged with both sadness and blessed relief), and left for Los Angeles. California is perhaps the only state […]