The Roquefort Files

Travels to the pub and back

June 6th, 2011

Two Weekends (#1)

I have been neglecting the RF, and for this I can only apologise. The Project is occupying all of my attention these days; that, and gallivanting around Europe like I’m some sort of crazed middle-class professional determined to screw the environment with high-altitude CO2 emissions before this sort of irresponsible behaviour is outlawed for the […]

October 24th, 2010

(It’s all) catching up

I turned 33 a couple of weeks ago. Jesus died at this age, as people keep reminding me, just as turning 27 came with a flurry of “Hey, didn’t Jimi Hendrix/Kurt Cobain/Jim Morrison die when he was 27?” And while Jesus marked this particular year of his life with a triple-whammy of crucifixion, reincarnation and […]

September 11th, 2010


There’s a cycle clothing company called Rapha which professes to cleave to a romantic view of cycling as a kind of purifying ritual, where man attacks col armed with a boutique steel road bike and clad in vintage-aping merino sportswear and emerges sweaty and reborn at the top. The Rapha website is thus awash with […]

August 27th, 2010

Cavalcade? Cornucopia? Continuum?

c.f. a steady stream of pub/chat/cultural events. At lunchtime a couple of Fridays ago I did my now-customary furtive change into cycling gear in the disabled toilet before heading off for North Berwick. The Social (Engineering) Committee’s semi-annual Beach Party was kicking off over at Seacliff Beach, and I decided to cycle there rather than […]

August 24th, 2010

OrkneyDullard has updated his status

It is just after midnight and I can’t sleep, so I’m lying on the couch and listening to Mogwai’s incomparably bombastic, optimistic magnum opus Mogwai Fear Satan. The music swells and fades and batters and sighs; it is a song that demands attention. Earlier tonight I did my first cycle race, the Edinburgh 48 in […]

August 11th, 2010

I have flipped the stem

This biking thing is getting out of hand. Last Wednesday I slunk away from my desk half an hour early, got changed into my cycling gear in the disabled toilet (fewer passers-by to remark on the lycra, you see) and headed downstairs to unlock my bike. I was off to the village of Kirkliston (tr. […]

August 2nd, 2010

Everything was going so well

I’ve rather enjoyed the last month or so. Coming off the back of our Prague trip, the weather has been good, or at least unobtrusive, and sundry minor amusements have kept me occupied. A non-exhaustive list follows. * * * Bikes: Back at the start of the July I headed into town to watch the […]

June 22nd, 2010

Maisie Goes to the Seaside

(With apologies to Aileen Paterson.) A couple of weekends ago now, I had a Proper Weekend. For the first time in ages, a Saturday and Sunday were blighted neither by an excessive hangover nor unreasonably crappy weather and were filled just so with pleasantly engaging activities. If it didn’t feel pompous to do so, I’d […]

May 29th, 2010

Drive it like you stole it

I’ve bought a car. Not for me another dinky Japanese roadster or quirky Swedish meatball; no, this time I’ve gone down the classic and under-appreciated temperamental Italian sports car route and bought myself an Alfa Romeo GTV. I may be over-egging the case a little, but the truth is that Alfa’s reputation for reliability and […]

March 13th, 2010

Pie power

I was back in Fife last weekend for my sister’s 30th birthday. My Dad has finally tumbled to the fact that cans of beer left in a draughty cupboard for a couple of hours before a shindig do not become chilled to any perceptible degree, and so this time round a pair of ice-laden pails […]